Chuck Vs What Comes Next
by McEvoyer
Summary: This story takes place post-series, a couple of months after Chuck and Sarah's kiss on the beach. With Sarah still not remembering much, she becomes conflicted about Chuck and about her life. But she knows deep down that she's falling for him - again. Will Sarah opt out of the life she has now to be with Chuck or will she stay the hardened spy? Hoping to be a few chapters long.
1. Chapter 1

**This story takes place a couple of months after that kiss on the beach. Sarah doesn't actually remember much but she is willing to meet up with Chuck and try to get some semblance of their life together. I'm hoping to write a few chapters on this story so please read and feel free to review! Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

CHAPTER ONE

Sarah sat in her apartment wondering whether or not to go on this "date", as Chuck called it. That was his idea, naturally, to have a sort of date night once a week where he took her to places that were special to them as a couple. And Sarah agreed, but mainly because she ached so desperately to remember all of these things that meant so much to him. It hurt her to see the pain in his eyes whenever he animatedly told her a story about one of their missions or of a night they spent together and then realise that she had no recollection of event ever taking place. He would apologise and then change the subject and pretend as if nothing was wrong but she was beginning to think that maybe this date thing wasn't a good idea.

She felt it on the beach; that kiss, his tender lips on hers and weight of his love for her in every move he made. She felt something inside her stirring, trying to escape but just before it could, he pulled away, not wanting to overstep boundaries, and she couldn't let herself go and melt into him the way she felt that would have done if she could remember everything. He never kissed her like that again after that – just the sweet caring peck on the cheek every time he dropped her back at the apartment after each date.

But even though she didn't remember a lot, she felt herself longing to spend time with him. The way he got when he talked about his family, how protective he was of his friends and her, the way he tried effortlessly to make her at ease and crack jokes in awkward situations, the way he got fired up talking about comic books and something called 'Star Wars', his sweet considerate nature, his unwillingness to see the bad in people; everything about him was so endearing and lovable. Who would have thought that she, super spy Sarah Walker, would fall for bumbling, adorable nerd Chuck Bartowski? She for sure didn't. As far as she could remember, she wasn't even remotely interested in a long-term relationship – let alone marriage! And yet, that's exactly what happened to her. Even just thinking about it was completely surreal to her.

An abrupt knock on her door yanked her out of the puzzle that was her mind, and she pulled herself together before opening it up to see Chuck with his signature smile that somehow sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach and caused her heart to skip a beat. And his eyes, his subtle compassionate eyes, that looked at her and really _saw _her were alight as soon as they landed on her face. The difference, Sarah noticed, was that Chuck saw what others guys didn't; he saw everything she had beneath her cold exterior. And it was like he understood her; that he got her and she had never been 'gotten' before. That feeling alone brought on her biggest smile.

"Hey," he greeted. He was wearing a navy shirt, with the sleeves cuffed just past his elbow, a pair of dark blue jeans and, of course, a pair of Chuck Taylors.

"Hey," Sara replied, almost forgetting to breathe. How can he have such a hold on me? she wondered to herself.

"You ready?"

Sarah looked at what she was wearing. Since she didn't know where they were going she didn't know what to wear. Like, what exactly is proper surprise attire? All she had on was a white blouse and a pair of old jeans. "Em…yeah I guess so."

Chuck cocked his head inquisitively. "You guess so?"

"Well, if I knew where we were going I could have dressed better. Can I at least get a hint?" Sarah smiled wide-eyed, hoping to break down his reserves.

"Ah, Chuck Bartowski does not reveal his secrets," he explained, waving his hands around for effect. Kinda cute. "I am a mastermind; my brain is impenetrable."

Sarah narrowed her eyes. "Impenetrable, huh? We'll see about that," she toyed, grabbing her bag and keys and heading out the door. "Okay, mastermind Bartowski, let's get this show on the road." She couldn't help playing along with him; it was like she was a totally different Sarah when she was around him. That nerved and excited her all at the same time.

They made their way out to Chuck's car and Sarah noticed the way he kept trying to sway his hand towards her and then pull it back, deciding against it. She assumed that he used to take her hand if they were walking anywhere. It was probably second nature to him at this stage.

"So, how you doing?" he asked as he opened the door for her. How gentlemanly.

Sarah climbed into the car. "I'm doing good. How's everything with you?"

"Oh, everything's…good, too. I've just been hanging around and doing some filing down in Castle and stuff. All very exciting, I assure you," he laughed lightly.

"Of course."

"I have you know, Sarah Bart-" he quickly corrected himself, "I mean, Walker, that I am exciting. I'm a beacon of excitement, a poster boy for-"

Sarah chuckled. "Chuck, I get it."

Chuck smiled cutely and closed her door. As he made his way around to his door, Sarah realised that she felt…safe. And that feeling was alien to her. She was a spy. Spies are constantly on alert, anticipating anything and everything. Always guarded, never relaxed. But being with Chuck was like an outer-body experience; she felt like a normal person, somebody that didn't work in the line of danger on a daily basis. Chuck had some kind of spell on her. And, much to her surprise, she liked it more and more each day.

He drove silently for a while, and Sarah noticed his frequent glances in her direction. His lips were clamped together and his eyebrows were knitted. "Chuck, are you okay?"

He allowed himself another look at her and this time Sarah saw a flicker of desperation in his eyes. "Who me? Yeah, of course I am." He forced a smile.

Sarah wasn't buying it. "Chuck, what's going on? You look…well, I don't know."

Chuck let out a weighty sigh and clenched his hands around the steering wheel. "I…I was just thinking that maybe…maybe this isn't such a good idea anymore."

"What, today?"

He stopped at a red light. "No, I mean…all of it. This 'date night-slash-day' thing."

That caught her off-guard. "Why? What are you saying, Chuck?" Despite herself, Sarah felt her heart hammer against her chest.

The light went green and Chuck hit the accelerator, gaining speed along the highway. His voice was soft and melancholy. "It's just that I thought it would work. These dates." Sarah waited patiently for him to collect his words. "Look, Sarah, after our kiss on the beach I thought I felt something shift; that you were starting to get a hold on the memories you'd lost and that it would only be a matter of time before you'd be back to being Sarah. My Sarah. But…the more I look at it and the more dates we go on… I just think that it's a waste. I don't see how it could work if it hasn't worked yet. I think I'm just kidding myself." He sounded like a broken man.

"No, Chuck, don't say that, they _are_ helping!" Sarah exclaimed to her intense surprise. She couldn't help herself; the words were out before she had time to think.

"What do you mean?"

Sarah turned toward him as much as her seatbelt would allow. "Chuck, all I know is that I'm a spy and that's all I've ever known. It was like my life was reset and when I woke up in my hotel room, I was Sarah Walker the spy and that was that. And then I learn that I lived a normal life." She paused, smiling. "Well, as normal as settled spies could be and I couldn't grasp that. I couldn't see the girl who was married and who had friends and a family. Someone who had everything that I thought I couldn't have."

Chuck smiled at her hopefully. "I don't remember a lot; bits and pieces here and there but nothing concrete. But what I do know is that I want to know about the life we had and the girl I was. I'm not going to lie; I feel…conflicted. On one hand I want to stay the way I am because that's all I know. I'm scared to change and I'm scared of becoming something different – even if it's something that I want. But on the other hand, I want to be that Sarah; the Sarah you show me and tell me about. I want to be her, Chuck. It's just taking time and I'm sorry for that."

Chuck shook his head. "No, you have nothing to be sorry about, Sarah. I'm just glad that you're here." He stopped and Sarah saw tears glistening his eyes. "It's just hard, you know? I wake up every morning and I stretch over just to find that you're not there. I-I see pictures of us around the apartment and I get this weight on my chest and I find it hard to breathe. I try my best to give you space because I don't want to overwhelm you but it's so hard. I want nothing more than to grab you in my arms and kiss you, like we used to and tell you that I love you and just take off and leave everything behind. But I can't."

His words form tears in her eyes. With each date Chuck tried to make it as light-hearted as possible, but as she sat next to him, seeing his pain and hearing his heartache, she couldn't help but become emotional. To her, she had only known Chuck for a relatively short time but she already knew that she was falling hard for Chuck Bartowski.

As she meddled with her thoughts, Chuck made a turn and pulled into a car spot. "Well, here we are," he said, injecting some faux-excitement to entice her.

Sarah looked out the window to see a sign of emerald and gold. "Our date is at the Buy More?" She couldn't help but laugh.

"I know what you're thinking – not very date material – but this place is very special to us." He unbuckled his seatbelt and placed his hand on the back of her headrest. "This is the place where it all started. I was just a regular guy until one day a supercomputer was downloaded into my brain and my world was turned upside-down by a certain girl by the name of Sarah Walker. It was in this place where the most special and significant moment of my life took place. This is where I met you." He pushed her hair behind her ear and looked at her contemplatively. Sarah's breath hitched. "You know I spent a lot of time cursing and blaming the Intersect for ruining my life, but in all that I forgot the most important thing: if it wasn't for the Intersect I would have never met you. So I guess you could say that I sorta owe it."

Sarah beamed at him. "Who knew you could be such a smooth talker?" she joked, removing her gaze from his.

"That's just the way I roll; smooth like butter."

Sarah got out of her seatbelt and opened her door. "Well okay then, let's go," she smiled, getting out of the car, with Chuck in follow suit. "Gladly."

4


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all your reviews! Please feel free to let me know if you think my story is taking a wrong direction or if it's going nowhere. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

CHAPTER TWO

The Buy More was captivated in a dull, lifeless atmosphere. All around were people trudging through electronics and appliances looking as though they would rather be anywhere else. As Sarah appraised the vast space, she noted the sense of attachment she had to the store and at her recognition, her lips curled up into a faint smile.

"So this is where the magic happens," Chuck remarked, raising his arms for effect.

"I can see that," Sarah wryly replied.

"And there," Chuck pointed to the Nerd Herd station in the centre of the store, "is where a goofy guy with impeccable hair and bone structure charmed the mysterious beautiful blonde."

"Charmed?" Sarah raised her eyebrows.

Chuck snickered. "Sarah, please. Once I worked the old Bartowski charm, you were like putty in my hands."

Sarah crossed her arms. "I thought that _I _came to the Buy More to scope out the guy who supposedly had the Intersect in his possession and it was _you _who was charmed by _me. _Oh and impeccable hair? Didn't Ellie tell me that your hair used to make funny animal shapes?" She gazed at him with a dry smile.

"That's just details," Chuck waved off. "But I definitely left an impression," he argued lightly before stopping suddenly, "Wait, do you remember that? Us meeting?" His eyes widened slightly.

Sarah dropped her eyes so that she wouldn't be looking into his. She probably wouldn't be able to think straight. "Em, no not really. You've told me about it."

"Oh." He was hurt but was quick to regain his composure. "Well you should have saw yourself; you were totally taken by me. In fact, I do recall you mentioning that I was the most handsome man you had ever met."

Sarah wasn't buying it. "Oh really, I did, did I?" She flashed him a quick smile.

Chuck conceded, raising his hands in surrender. "Okay…maybe that was me." Sarah couldn't help but laugh. Everything seemed so easy with Chuck. She didn't really remember ever having somebody she could laugh and joke with and just be Sarah. That was really comforting and, in a way, somewhat frightening.

Chuck was the first to interrupt her thoughts. "Okay, here's the part where you say, 'Well you are the most handsome man I've ever met'," he joked. For some reason, Sarah became flustered, pushing her hair off her face. "Oh, well I-"

"You know what, never mind; that was just me trying to work some of that charm I guess," he hurriedly interjected, reddening. "Come on, let's just take a walk around the store. Maybe something will spark a memory."

"Yeah, sure," Sarah agreed, hugging herself.

But before they had the chance to move, Morgan suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Chuck, I need your help!" he exclaimed. "Oh, hey, Sarah, sorry but can I borrow Chuck for like…however long it takes to save my relationship?" he asked her. Sarah liked Morgan; sure he was a bit nerdy and forward but over the past few months she was privy to the close relationship he had with Chuck. They were real friends who could share anything with one another. Some part of Sarah wished that she had a relationship liked that – well, she knew she did have one before her mind was reset. How disheartening.

"Of course, Morgan," she answered looking at Chuck who seemed overly reluctant to leave her. "I'll go have a look around myself."

"You sure?" Chuck checked.

"Yeah, you should help him. It sounds…serious."

Chuck looked between Sarah and Morgan and sighed. "I won't be long."

Sarah nodded and started for the entertainment section. Maybe she would come across a movie that she liked, or at least thought she did. She didn't know if she was big into movies but she knew Chuck was, so she was sure that he would have made her watch a few things.

"Morgan, what are you _doing_? Didn't you see that I was with Sarah?" Chuck couldn't believe that his best friend would interrupt him when he was in the middle of something entirely important to him.

"Dude, did you not see that I'm in dire need of some help? My relationship depends on whatever you tell me!"

Chuck closed his eyes. "Morgan, I'm sure whatever it is, it's not that bad – I really need to get back to Sarah." He started to walk away.

"Please, man," Morgan pleaded, "I really need your help."

Chuck dropped his shoulders and turned around to face him. He could see that Morgan needed him and he couldn't just turn his back on him; not when he'd been there for him over the past while. He was his best friend, after all. "Okay, what is it? You have my undivided attention." He crossed his arms in anticipation.

"Okay, clear your mind," he began, "Blender or toaster?"

Chuck's head shot up. "What kind of question is that?"

"It's not just a question, Chuck; it's a matter of life and death. My happiness depends on your answer."

"Morgan-"

"Think of the pros and cons; like, a blender enables you to make delicious fruity liquids, but a toaster opens up a world of toast, bagels and waffles."

Chuck was exasperated. How could Morgan drag him away for this?

"Morgan, I can't believe you're asking me this! What does it matter?"

Morgan played with the boxes in front of him. "Because I…eh…kinda forgot mine and Alex's anniversary."

Chuck's eyes widened until they could go no more. "How could you forget? I reminded you last week."

"I don't know, I just did. Maybe it was something to do with the 'Back to the Future' marathon that was on last week; I did spend a lot of my free time in front of the plasma screen. But I need to buy her something, you know, to make up for it."

"Like a blender?"

"Or a toaster, yes."

Chuck smiled. "Buddy, I don't think that an appliance is the best way to say 'I'm sorry'."

"Well, this is the only place where I can still get a discount, man."

"And I understand that, but I think that you might need to splash out a little this time." Even though Morgan could drive him crazy sometimes, he couldn't help but love the guy. Sometimes he was just what the doctor ordered.

"Well, what do I get her, then?" He looked like a lost child.

"I don't know; jewellery or perfume?"

Morgan had his thinking face on. "But I don't think that stuff really expresses how I feel," he surmised.

"Expresses how you feel? Buddy, I don't think appliances, especially kitchen appliances, say that either."

Morgan scratched his beard. "I'm gonna have to think of something else, aren't I?"

"Afraid so."

Morgan accepted defeat. "Alright. So how's it going with your lady?"

How _was _it going? Chuck didn't know. And that was the honest answer. "I don't know, man. One minute I feel like it's going well and we're getting somewhere, and the next it's like we're two complete strangers just flung together."

"Well, you kinda are to her."

"I know, but every time I feel like it's all going to be okay, she puts up her front – you know the one – and I just don't think I can break through that again. It's different this time; she has to completely trust me with all this but it's not that easy for her."

"Woah, talk about deja vu. Look, Chuck, Sarah is here with you right now. She's willing to go out on these dates with you and to spend time with you - that shows that she feels some kind of connection or feeling to you. Dude, she _wants _to remember and just because you can't see changes doesn't mean that they're not there; Sarah's a rockstar and she fell for the sweet, clumsy Chuck Bartowski that we all love and she can do it again. It's still there, man; you just gotta find it." Who knew Morgan could be so poetic.

"You think?"

"No, Chuck, I know. Now go make that super sexy spy fall for you again!"

In some ways Morgan was right but Chuck wasn't completely convinced. He wanted to believe with everything inside him that time and energy would unearth her love for him and unlock her memories but he couldn't ignore the fact that nothing seemed to have worked so far. Nothing major had happened. Sure, it was still early days but his heart was heavy with the reality of the situation he was in. But as he caught sight of her scrutinizing DVD cases, he was reminded that he was given a second chance of sorts with the woman that he loved with all his heart – and that was too much to give up on. Yet, he longed for everything to be back to normal.

Sarah watched the exchange between Chuck and Morgan, studying how they interacted. By the way Chuck's body language changed mid-conversation, she knew that she was the topic. It was clear to her and to those closest to him that this whole thing was the most painful thing he ever had to endure. But she knew there was nothing she could do to change that; if she left – no, she couldn't leave. She just couldn't. She was in too deep. Yes, sometimes she missed the crazy spy life she led; things weren't as complicated as they were here. Getting shot at was easier to take than dealing with feelings and…emotions. That was something she was not used to. But there was something inside her that wouldn't let her entertain the thought of leaving.

Chuck plastered on an original Chuck smile as he approached her. She loved his smile, especially when it reached his eyes and that was how it was every time he saw her. Yet, she also saw the pain behind the façade.

"Hey, sorry about that," he apologised, clapping his hands together.

"Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah, Morgan was just trying to find the appliance that showed the true extent of his feelings for Alex. He's a hopeless romantic."

Sarah smirked. "What did he go with?"

"It was a toss-up between a blender and a toaster. My money's on the blender."

"Well, nothing says love like a strawberry smoothie."

"I guess not," Chuck beamed. "Em…so how's it going? Have you…did you…anything?"

Sarah frowned and picked up a movie. "I think I remember watching this."

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We watched that one night when you weren't feeling well and you spent the whole running time finding plot holes and making fun of the clunky dialogue." Chuck laughed at the memory. "I never really liked that movie anyway but that was easily my favourite time watching it."

Sarah narrowed her eyes trying to think. "I don't know if I remember all that."

"It's okay; but it's a nice memory to have." Chuck played with his wedding band. It was nice that he still wore it but it kinda made Sarah uncomfortable. She wasn't ready to dive back into that – at least not now. Who knows, maybe later down the road. Then again, maybe not.

Sarah put Indiana Jones down. "You know, I like it here, it feels familiar."

"Yeah, we spent a lot of time here. It always feels like home. Although I gotta admit that it doesn't feel like the true Buy More without Jeffster running around creeping the customers out." He swung his arms before continuing. "So, listen, I was thinking and I know we agreed on one day per week but how would you feel about hanging out with me tomorrow?" He looked like a child asking their parents' permission to go into the forbidden closet.

Sarah deliberated. She did want to go but something was pulling her away. "I don't know, Chuck; what happens if we get called on a mission?"

"I thought that you wanted to take a little break from the spy world?"

"I do but you never know what tomorrow may hold."

"Exactly and that's why I wanted to ask you. There's a place I wanted to take you."

"Chuck, I-"

"Sarah, please say yes," Chuck pleaded.

Sarah wasn't so sure but she couldn't deny the fact that she did want to spend more time with him. Their once a week arrangement was the only thing she really looked forward to. "Okay, yeah, you're on."

"Great," Chuck beamed, elated by her answer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, here's the third chapter! Thank you for your reviews; I find it really interesting reading what you guys think! Anyway, have a read and don't be afraid to let me know what you think. And, most importantly, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

CHAPTER THREE

Later that night, Chuck found himself alone with his thoughts in his apartment. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but he hated being in the apartment by himself. The fact that Ellie and Awesome were all the way over in Chicago mingling with Mid-Westerners left him aware of just how alone he actually was. Sure, Morgan was around but he was living with Alex now and his priorities had changed. Well, as much as Morgan's priorities _could _change. Chuck wondered how he dealt with the whole forgetting his anniversary debacle – whether he chose the blender or the toaster or if he actually took Chuck's advice and bought her something from the heart – but Morgan hadn't come knocking on his door yet looking for a place to crash, so Chuck assumed he sorted it out. Good for him. Alex was good for Morgan, anybody could see that, and it was nice to see his best friend in love and happy. At least one of them was.

He wished he could say the same for his life. Sarah was there but she wasn't all at the same time. There were times when he saw _his _Sarah, and his hope was ignited, ready to spark into a full-blown flame of passion and love, but that was usually accompanied by a moment of sheer…distance. It was like she wasn't even Sarah but someone totally different. He wanted to believe so desperately that they were making progress, but he couldn't be blamed for feeling like hope was lost. Anybody would if they found themselves in a similar situation. He just wished there was something he could do, that he hadn't already tried, that would somehow, against all odds, help her to remember.

Chuck shuffled into his bedroom in search of a sweater; lately, the nights had seemed chillier than usual. His room was sorta a mess; clothes were strewn on the floor and his bed looked like it hadn't been made in forever. He had been meaning to fix all of that, he just…never got round to it. As he collected his black sweater off his bed, he couldn't help but notice the framed picture of him and Sarah sitting on the shelf above. It was a picture they had taken back when their relationship was only a cover…supposedly. Chuck picked up the frame to examine the photo. There they were – Chuck with his bushy hair with his arms wrapped around Sarah who looked, well, beautiful. He felt it even then; though they were a fake couple, he knew that there was something between them. Something real. Sarah could have denied it all she wanted but there was no hiding the way she looked at him or how she smiled when she was around him. And he felt that at the beach as well when they kissed. There was still something there, and that was why he could never give up on her, no matter how bleak it looked.

Before he could be pulled down the despair spiral of no return, his phone rang bringing him back to the real world. It was Ellie. How did she know Chuck needed to hear her voice? It was like she was some kind of superhero…stranger things have happened. "Hey, sis," he answered.

"Hey, Chuck, I'm glad I caught you."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to see how you were. Morgan called and said he was a bit worried about you, so I thought I'd check-in. How are you?"

"Oh he did, did he? Well, you know how Morgan over-reacts…I'm fine."

Ellie wasn't buying any of it. "Chuck, come on, this is me."

Chuck sighed. She was right, there was no point in putting up a front. "Well, maybe he wasn't over-reacting…too much. I was just…I don't know, confused and upset and trying too hard to be everybody's Chuck."

He heard Ellie's rhythmic breathing on the other end as she processed his words. "You don't have to be everybody's Chuck; no one expects you to be. We can't imagine what you're going through."

"I just don't know what to do, sis. I'm afraid that I'm fading fast."

"Chuck, trust me when I say this: you are not fading. There is no possible way that Sarah could spend any time with you and not start falling for you again. How are the dates going?"

"So-so, I guess. Some are good, some not so good." He sat down on the bed. "It's like she puts up a brick wall and I can't break through."

"But you said there were good days," Ellie affirmed.

"Yeah, some. Every now and again she's the Sarah that we know, but that doesn't last very long." He rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Sometimes I just feel so helpless."

"Chuck, I know you don't probably want to hear this, but people who suffer from memory loss experience days where things seem overtly familiar, and those days, though they can be helpful, can also be really stressful, and sometimes the only way they deal with it is by shutting down. Blocking people out." She had her assertive doctor voice on. "What I mean is that, maybe Sarah putting up a barrier is her way of dealing with the familiarity she feels when she's with you."

"Do you really think I could break it down?"

"Chuck if there's one thing I know it's that you are the only person who is able to get through to her. And you may be closer to doing that than you think."

Chuck smiled crookedly when he heard that. Maybe it was Ellie's doctor training that made her so good at giving hope to the hopeless. "Really?"

"You won't know until you try. There's nothing wrong with giving something a go. In fact, it's kinda noble."

"Noble, you say? Well, tell me oh wise one, you got any ideas of how I should go about 'giving it a go'?"

Ellie laughed. "Do something big. Something that hits right at the heart of the matter."

"Like what?"

"You'll figure it out." And in that moment, Chuck had an idea. It was a long-shot but not totally crazy and it would be big enough. Maybe big enough to get through to Sarah. "I think I know what to do," Chuck stated.

"Wow, that was fast!"

"Don't celebrate just yet; we have to see if it works first." Chuck wasn't about to jump the gun just yet.

"Okay, well whenever you do what you're doing, I want all the details."

"Of course, sis. I miss you, you know that?"

"I miss you, too. Now, go get the girl Charles Irving Bartowski."

Chuck hung-up the phone and breathed deeply. He finally had an idea that actually sounded like it could help. Really help. It was a long-shot but he couldn't think like that. He had to try and be the Chuck that Sarah loved and he needed to stop wallowing – at least when he was around her. He needed her to see the kind of guy that he could be for her.

Sarah lay in bed, cocooned by her sheets, her mind racing. Today provided a bigger step than she thought was possible; she had an instant connection to the Buy More, as if she had spent enormous amounts of time there. She hadn't had that type of emotional attachment to a place before and because of it, she smiled widely. Maybe she was getting somewhere.

Chuck had been nothing but sweet to her…but it was killing him. Anyone anywhere could see that. Yet, it was her fault; she didn't even tell him when she thought things were getting better or when she thought she remembered something. She figured she was just afraid; that if she confessed to feeling something it'd all be real and everything she had grown up knowing would dissipate into the unknown. She didn't really do too well with the unknown.

But despite her fears, she couldn't wait to spend more time with Chuck – it was amazing what a few weeks could do. She felt safe and secure and protected when she was around him. And he made her laugh. And he cared for her. In all honesty, he was the perfect guy for her - when she watched her video logs she saw how she fell for him so easily, and at the time she didn't understand it; but after spending time with him and seeing how he was around her, she knew how it happened. Nevertheless, that didn't quench her fear, it only heightened it. She watched herself break apart on video but couldn't seem to find the courage this time to do the same, and didn't know if she ever could.

Maybe tomorrow would be a turning-point.

Chuck knocked on Sarah's door bright and early the next day. The sun was shining in a blue, cloudless sky and the wind was a mere breeze. A perfect day for what he had planned. He just hoped it all worked out. "Hey," he breathed when he caught sight of her.

"Hey," she replied immediately.

Chuck played with his hands. "So…I know that I said I wanted to take you somewhere special today – and I still will – but how would you feel about going to a montage of places? Like for a full day of fun with…me?"

Sarah hesitated for a moment, not sure what to say. Yes or No?

"Don't worry it's nothing dangerous and I promise to keep you fed and watered," Chuck threw in before she could think.

"Well…what exactly will we be doing?" That seemed like a good question to ask.

Chuck scrunched up his face. "Now that I can't tell you; it's a surprise and yes, I know you're not a fan of surprises."

"I-"

"Look, it's not really a matter of _what _we're doing but more of _where _we're going and you can deliberate forever but what it boils down to is one simple question." Sarah waited . "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah, I do." She didn't have to think about that one; it came naturally.

Chuck smiled briefly. "Okay, then I think you have your answer. But there is one more thing I want to propose…"

"What?"

Chuck's voice grew soft. "I know all this hasn't been easy on you, and in some ways I feel like I've been unfair to you by bombarding you with memories and places and stories and I know that you don't remember them. And I just feel bad that I've been going full speed ahead. So, I've decided that after today you can decide whether you want to cool off these dates for a while or…forever. It's all up to you; I'll respect whatever decision you make."

Sarah thought about that; it wasn't a bad proposition in all fairness. If she wanted to continue she just had to say the word and if she didn't…well, it was her decision. "That sounds fair," she nodded.

"Cool," Chuck whispered, suddenly frightened over the fact that today was going to be make-or-break. "Do you think a day can change your life, Sarah Walker?"

"I don't know," Sarah whispered back.

And as they made their way down to the car, she asked herself that question knowing that that wasn't the question she needed to ask. It was not _if_ she thought a day could change her life, but if she _let_ a day change her life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, thanks again for your comments! So this is the fourth chapter and I hope you enjoy it! Please feel free to review!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

CHAPTER FOUR:

"So, can I not have at least a hint as to what we're doing?" Sarah inquired as Chuck drove.

Chuck gave her a whimsical look. "I told you; it's not about the _what _but the _where_."

"Okay, well then can I have a hint as to where we're going?" she smiled.

"Now if I did that, it'd ruin the whole day."

"I'm not a big of surpr-"

"Surprises, I know," Chuck finished. "Look, if we go somewhere that you feel uncomfortable, you just say the word and we'll leave. No questions asked."

"Really? No questions asked? That doesn't really sound like your thing," Sarah noted. As far as she knew, Chuck wasn't one to let unanswered questions hang about. He seemed to have a tendency to ask and ask until someone eventually answered – probably because he was usually relentless in his pursuit. Though some may find that particular trait annoying or frustrating, Sarah found that to be a good quality. Then again, there really wasn't any characteristic of Chuck that she didn't like. She liked everything about him.

"Okay, so I might ask but you don't have to answer. That's all on you," he replied, one side of his mouth curling into a smile.

They drove for a little while longer with Chuck filling the occasional silence with a story Morgan had told him about Jeffster in Germany. Apparently, the Chancellor was a big fan and invited them to play a private concert for her and the delegates and, naturally, hilarity ensued. Sarah really didn't know how much of the story was true, after all Morgan was the source and it involved Jeff and Lester. Not that she really knew them, but she learned enough to know that despite Chuck and Morgan's constant protests to the contrary, Jeffster held some kind of special, weird place in their hearts. "And so, they ended up in a German prison, manned by manly-looking German women," Chuck concluded, shaking his head as he chuckled.

"That's quite a story," Sarah remarked, laughing back.

Chuck loved her laugh; it was sweet, melodic, and he loved that he could make her laugh. After everything, it was nice to know that he still had that going for him. Sarah was at her most radiant when she was laughing and that was happening more often than not – Chuck took that as a good omen.

"Have you heard from Ellie?" Sarah asked suddenly, as Chuck pulled up.

"Yeah, I spoke to her last night," he said, turning off the ignition. "She's good. Now, come on, we've arrived at our first destination."

Sarah took a look around; they were at a warehouse at the docks. "Here?"

"We've got to go inside; follow me." Chuck offered his hand as she disembarked the car.

"I don't get it, why are we here?"

"Let's just go inside first, okay?"

The warehouse was empty except for a few large crates towards the sides, a couple of covered up windows, and a large container in the centre of the room. Sarah examined every inch of the place with her eye, taking in every detail, trying to figure out what Chuck was up to. Yet, there was…something about this place; like she had been there before. "Have I been here before?" Sarah asked Chuck who was staring straight ahead.

He quickly turned his head toward her in hope. "Yes, do you remember it?"

"Not really," she answered honestly, "but I feel like I've been here." Chuck took her hand and led her to the crate in the centre of the room. "You were; about five years ago."

Sarah narrowed her eyes in thought. "We were here together?"

"Yeah. We were right here." He pointed down to the spot.

"What happened?"

Chuck was a little disheartened that she didn't remember what this place was but she did seem to remember it in some metaphysical sense…and he'd take that. "Well, it's sorta a long story but we were captured, thrown into the trunk of a car, put under the threat of torture, and you went all kick-ass on our captors, we escaped and well, one thing led to another, and you and I ended up here, in front of what looked like an enormous bomb that was going to blow off our faces," he rushed.

"Graphic," Sarah commented dryly.

"Well a lot flashes in front of a guy when he's about to meet his maker."

Sarah placed her hands on her hips, her gaze tracing the container. "This is where we had our first real kiss; you told me it happened in front of a bomb," she deduced correctly.

"Only it wasn't a bomb, but a capsule that contained a still-live Bryce Larkin which…complicated things for a while," Chuck explained.

"I'd imagine," Sarah confirmed. "So that was here?"

"Yep."

Sarah looked confused. "But why bring me here?"

Chuck clasped his hands together. "Because this was our first _real _moment as a couple, even though, technically, we weren't a couple. But, this was the moment that changed everything for me, because you kissed me and for the first time I realised that there could be a future for us – even if it seemed impossible. It was kind of like the beginning of us." He looked into her blue eyes, trying to read what she was thinking. One minute, she's simple to read, the next, she's complicated, a riddle. "Do you remember any of that?"

"I don't know," Sarah said, looking away. "I mean, I _know _I was here…I can feel it. But things are still hazy."

"That's okay; I just wanted to show you this place. I thought…" he paused momentarily, "This was the place where I knew for certain that you were the girl for me; that I was already completely in love with you. And that, no matter what happened, I always would be."

His words hit her hard. He tried his best not to go near the heavy stuff when he was around her but Sarah figured that today was a time for all that to change. She saw that he meant it. Every word. "I'm sorry, I just can't put all the pieces together. I _might_ remember it."

"Sarah, it's fine. This is only the first place anyway; we still have a few more to go. Shall we?" he looped his arm so that she could link him.

As they walked further and further away from the container, Sarah looked back in intense concentration wondering if she ever would remember that moment. It was clear to her that Chuck thought this may have triggered something – in a way it did, but just not enough.

The second secret location on this Chuck adventure took a little longer to get to. Sarah tried her best to get something out of Chuck but he was reluctant to let anything incriminating slip. As she watched the passing landscape, Sarah racked her brain for any sign of something familiar. The general area seemed to ring a bell, but she assumed that she could have been out here before because of missions and assignments - but she couldn't connect any of it to Chuck or their life together. "Almost there," Chuck said.

"Am I allowed one question about this?"

Chuck rocked his head side to side in deliberation. "Sure, why not."

"How important is this place for us?" That seemed like a good question to ask; it didn't sink too much into the actual but the significance of it – which was just as telling.

"Again, I can't vouch for you, but this place holds something that I will never forget – sorry, no pun intended," he grimaced at his choice of words. Sarah couldn't stifle her laugh. "You'd probably think that in the grand scheme of things this place isn't all that important, but it was somewhere that struck something with me; you know, about us."

Sarah pondered that as they passed by a signpost. "Meadow Branch? The suburbs?"

Chuck blew in air through his teeth. "Yeah…not exactly the reaction I was going for; I was hoping more for a, 'Yay, the suburbs!'"

"You expected me to say, 'yay'?"

"No, not really; I have a tendency to embellish my expectations. It's a terrible habit."

"There could be worse habits," Sarah shrugged, thinking that Chuck didn't really have any bad habits at all.

Chuck pulled up outside a house in the cul de sac. "Okay, so we can't technically leave the car because we'd either look like daylight thieves, or just creepy, but that house just there was where we spent our first cover as a married couple. Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael." He smiled briefly. "But this cul de sac was nowhere near as blissful as it may appear." His eyes darkened as if trying to create some sort of drama.

"Why? What exactly were we doing here?"

He deepened his voice into a husky whisper. "We were sent here to infiltrate a terrorist operation but instead stumbled upon something much more sinister…"

"More sinister than a terrorist?" Sarah raised her eyebrow, amused.

"Fine, on par with a terrorist. We stumbled upon…dun dun dun…a fulcrum ring!"

"Fulcrum?"

Chuck tried to clarify the easiest way. "All around horribly bad guys, you know the type; and this particular batch of bad guys tried to toast us."

Sarah was confused. "And this was a good memory?"

"Yeah, well not the almost-toasting that took place, but the whole pretending to be a married couple and living a life of ease and bliss in our huge, over-priced suburban household was. Until I had to break my fake marriage vows and climb out of a house wearing nothing but my underwear and pink, fluffy handcuffs, that was."

Sarah watched Chuck as he retold the story with vigour and expression. Even though it sounded like work and an all-round bad experience, Chuck took something different away from it. A happy memory. She almost blushed at that. "Do I even want to know about the handcuffs?" she asked.

"Not relevant to the story," Chuck affirmed with a laugh. Sarah noticed his body change into a more relaxed pose. "I know it sounds silly but for a couple of days I saw what my life would be like you outside of the spy game; it'd be me, you, maybe a dog, maybe a kid. And I realised that that was something that I really wanted and wished I could have. I recognised at that point- before we were captured, of course – that I wanted you in my life…in my future. I wanted this," he gestured through the window to the surrounding landscape.

Chuck was so sensitive and so…sweet. Sarah could see the tender in his eyes, the way he looked at her sent her heart in a flutter. His words were so powerful, like they were able to do anything. "You got all that from a cover?"

"It wasn't just a cover, and I think you felt the same at the time," he confessed.

"Hey! What are you doing outside my house?" A middle-aged man in a grey sweater vest ran out of the house, waving his newspaper at their car. "This is private property!" he yelled with malicious intent.

"We better get out of here," Chuck said, putting the car into drive.

"Or what? He'll beat us with a newspaper?"

"Sarah, you do not want to mess with suburbians; they know all your secrets," he hissed as he drove away from the man, who was violently flailing his arms.

"They know all your secrets?" She laughed as they made their getaway.

"You'd be surprised," Chuck warned. "So, I know it's gonna be dark in a few hours, but are you ready to go to our next location?"

Sarah nodded instantly. "Yeah, I am." At least she thought she was.


	5. Chapter 5

**Right so this is the next chapter and I hope I've lived up to expectation! I wasn't sure how many chapters I was doing for this story – I was thinking about 7 or so – but if I think there's more to do I will definitely do it and if you guys think I should then I will continue! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and again, please feel free to review! **

CHAPTER FIVE: 

They travelled at top speed for the best part of two hours and the sun was beginning its descent behind the horizon. Sarah kept her eyes to the window, watching the world pass by. Knowing Chuck, this next place was really important to him – and them. She knew now that Chuck was bringing her to places that represented a milestone or at least a special time for them as a couple. It was a sweet idea, but Sarah still couldn't piece the fragments together. She still couldn't remember everything about the places and she wasn't sure if she ever would. Even now as they drove, she recognised the area but not the connection to the life they lived.

But what a life they lived. For the past two months Chuck had been retelling stories of them as a couple, and Sarah was amazed at the amount of missions and times they spent together, and the deep bond they shared. By the sounds of it, Chuck and Sarah were destined to be together. But were this version of Chuck and Sarah supposed to be? That was the million dollar question. And one she wasn't sure if she could ever answer truthfully. She wasn't the same Sarah as the one in those stories or memories, no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise. However, that didn't mean she never would be. She had to remember that.

"Nearly there," Chuck said, breaking her thoughts. "Are you okay? You've been really quiet for a while now." He sounded worried and his forehead creased.

Sarah didn't want to be a reason for him to worry, though she was sure she was the main cause of it. "Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking." Honesty was the best policy.

"About what?"

She put on her best smile. "About what you're doing. I know your plan, Chuck Bartowski."

"And what plan is that exactly?"

"You're taking me to places that were pivotal in your relationship."

"Our relationship," Chuck corrected.

"Sorry," she apologised, embarrassed.

Chuck stopped the car. "I don't want you to be sorry, Sarah. It's not your fault."

"It's just that I'm afraid that the more you take me to these places, the more I'll feel…disconnected to myself. It frightens me." She didn't expect that to come out.

"We don't have to do this, but you've nothing to be scared about. I promise."

Sarah wanted to delve further into this and lay out all her anxieties on the table but Chuck was quick to react. "Come on, we still have a few places to go after this, let's just take a swift look in here."

"A few more places?"

"Sarah, please, our relationship is full of significant places; I'm just trying to pick out the best ones."

Sarah got out of the car and looked at the building she was standing in front of. "We're at a seedy motel?" she said incredulously. How is this special?

"Correction; we're at a seedy motel in Barstow and before you say anything, I know how this looks but a major turning point occurred here. A real game changer." He strode ahead and into one of the rooms.

Chuck examined the room; it was exactly how it was that time he and Sarah stayed there. Not even the décor had changed. That, he was happy about. He didn't want anything different to take away that…moment. That all important moment where he felt…everything. All of the back and forth between them, and the will-they-won't-they scenarios came to a head in that precise moment where, for only a short amount of time, they were together without the boundaries and barriers. It was just them releasing all of that deep-seated passion they tried to suppress but never really did. All of those intense looks and communication through telepathy were no longer necessary; they were where they wanted to be for so long.

Chuck smiled to himself and turned to Sarah in hope. Please let her remember, he prayed. Sarah's expression was unreadable and he watched her as she traced her hand around everything in the room. He wasn't quite sure what she was doing but he for sure wasn't going to interfere. Instead, he just played with his thumbs, rocking back and forth on his heel, praying. He wasn't sure how far he could go with this. It was killing him to see Sarah look at somewhere so poignant and important to them and not knowing or not understanding how much it meant to him. But he had to keep up the enthusiasm and the hope; he still had hope, and there were still other places he had to take her on this 'Chuck and Sarah Tour' as he had dubbed it. But it was difficult – no denying that.

Sarah knew that Chuck was waiting for something from her; a word or sentence. Some recollection and acknowledgement. She ran her hand along the bed sheet, feeling…something. She had no idea what it was but there was _definitely _something there in the back of her mind. She closed her eyes in concentration, extending to the extremes of her brain for information. Yes, there was something! She was in this bed…she thought. Or was this her mind playing tricks? But what had that got to do with Chuck? She concentrated again. Chuck was in the bed, too. Was he? Yes, he was! She could picture it; well, some of it. She could see her and Chuck in the bed together and…and…that was it. Nothing else. That was so frustrating! Why would her mind open up so far and then close again?

"I can still feel it," Chuck spoke lowly as if to himself.

"Feel what?"

He breathed in. "How it felt to be with you," he put simply. "I wanted it for so long; in here, it was like nothing else mattered, like the outside world had disappeared and all that was left was just us, just here." He walked over to the opposite side to the bed. "I knew you could love me, but it was here when it was finally manifested into something real. None of us were ever the same after that. Well, we had a misunderstanding and went off on different paths and saw different people for a little bit, but we both knew that we had something that couldn't be denied."

Sarah noted how, on this particular story, he didn't try to sugar-coat it or try to make it funny. He was telling it how it was without the trimming: it was real. And Sarah knew that, she could see it. Okay, she couldn't _see _it but she knew it was there. Still, she couldn't find the courage to tell Chuck what she was feeling. She couldn't open up. "Why were we here?"

Chuck stared behind her. "You were trying to protect me."

"And so I brought you here?"

Chuck shrugged. "We had to stop somewhere." He smiled tentatively. "And I'm glad it was here." He crossed his arms as his eyes toured the room, taking in the moment they had. "You don't remember, do you?" he discerned. He looked sad, but he pasted on a smile.

Sarah couldn't face it, couldn't say yes. Couldn't say anything, and couldn't understand why. She shook her head. Chuck nodded his head in acknowledgement and defeat. "I thought maybe you would but hey, it doesn't matter."

He was quiet for a moment and Sarah thought it best to let him be. She waited for him but it was painful to see him look broken and then try to regain his composure and energy. It was like he had made some solemn vow to himself not to crumble in front of her, even though she knew that was exactly what he felt like doing. "So…where to?" Sarah asked trying to bring him back.

"You know I can't tell you 'til we get there; that's just how I roll."

It was extremely dark when Chuck pulled up at the next venue. His mood lightened as he drove and in no time it was impossible to see the guy that Sarah had seen briefly in the motel room. It was like he never existed. He turned to her in the car with a guarded pose. "Okay, so this is a little make-shift and may be viewed as cheating, but due to time and money constraints and the fact that I didn't know your views on being whisked out the country, we have to settle for this."

Sarah craned to her neck to see the sign next to the iron gates. "We're at the Thai embassy?"

"That we are."

Sarah stared at him blankly at a loss as to what this was supposed to be. "I don't understand, Chuck, I'm sorry."

"Well it's not really the Thai embassy that's important, it's more Thai-land," he accentuated the 'land' part.

Sarah, without even realising, instinctively reached her hand to above her eyebrow where she had a scar. Chuck's eyes widened. "That's where you got that scar! You were beating up people left, right and centre and I guess someone got in a lucky shot," he paused, "but you probably killed them then," he surmised.

Sarah dropped her hand quickly. "What…what was I doing in Thailand and why was I on a rampage?" The comment about the scar unnerved her and the fact that she touched it in reflex as soon as he mentioned Thailand.

"I was captured – as per usual, story of my life – and this creepy Belgian was holding me hostage and trying to erase all my memories so that he could extract the Intersect. Pretty standard day really." He was so nonchalant as he spoke, like this was a daily occurrence. Although, for Chuck it probably was. The Intersect really did mess up things. "Anyway, you practically stopped at nothing to find me, risking life and limb and sacrificing those of others to save the man you love. It's poetic and romantic in a…violent sort of way. Actually, both Morgan and Casey said that you were this totally different version of yourself, sort of like a woman possessed; but, they did say that the fact that you went a little loco without me showed how much you loved me. So, I thought this would be fitting."

Sarah ran her hand through her hair. "That's quite a story."

"Yeah, it is. Definitely one to tell the grandkids!" he exclaimed, before clearing his throat. "Erm…it was also the moment when you told me that you wanted to marry me." He checked Sarah for her approval to continue and didn't see anything that warned him off. "I was lying there, my brain almost turned to mush, and you were over me telling me that you loved me and that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. If it wasn't so life and death it would have been the stuff of movies. But it was perfect. Perfect," he whispered.

Suddenly, Sarah grew uncomfortable for the first time with Chuck. She knew he was just going through an old memory but she was becoming less at ease with each destination for whatever reason. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she felt like she was starting to tear at the seams. She wanted to move on with Chuck but her head was trying to build more and more walls.

"Ready to move on?"

Sarah checked her watch; it was late. Really late. "Is it not a bit late to be going somewhere else?"

"I guess I didn't factor in time for travelling but this place is open all night – it kinda has to be, so time doesn't really factor in." He was driving before Sarah could think of an excuse to go home. Not that she really needed one; Chuck wouldn't take her to anywhere dangerous. Dangerous physically, no, but dangerous emotionally, maybe. And why did she actually want to go home? Why was she staring to feel like an outsider in her own body? And as the lights of the city blurred and meshed, she rubbed the scar above her eyebrow in a rhythm. Back and forth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, so this is chapter six. For some reason it took me forever to write this and it was quite difficult to write actually. But I hope you enjoy it, and please feel free to review because I really appreciate it when I hear back from all of you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

CHAPTER SIX:

Chuck walked with purpose through the hospital, dodging nurses and doctors with questioning glances that knew all too well that visiting hours were over. But that couldn't stop him. As far as Chuck was concerned, this place, though as industrial-bleach-smelling as it was, was the most important one they had been to. Sarah had to remember this...she just had to. He knew his heart couldn't take much more; the expectation he had as soon as they stepped foot in one of their special places was too high and the searing pain of disappointment when she didn't connect was far too great. It wouldn't be long before his heart would tear at the seams; it was cruel to continue if this wasn't to work. Here, in this hospital where they spent way too much time in if you asked Chuck, was crunch time. And as he listened intently to Sarah's footsteps behind him, he steeled himself into thinking that this was the key to unleashing everything. It was going to work. It had to.

Sarah tried her best to keep up with Chuck who was stomping his feet aggressively ahead like a man on a mission. And in some ways he was just that. He didn't speak, letting his body language do all the talking and she stayed behind him following his every move. The worst part for Sarah was knowing that Chuck was at breaking point. No matter how much he attempted to cover up his feelings and act like everything was okay, she knew his heart was breaking the more locations they visited. She knew she should have told him that she had glimpses of memories as they travelled but how could she tell anyone about them when she was still tyring to figure them out herself? She needed to think them over before divulging information like that to another. That was who she was. Yet, the one thing she was most sure about as she glided along toward the intended target was that...she knew why Chuck brought her here.

As soon as they pulled up outside the hospital, Sarah understood why they were there. This was where Chuck proposed to her. She could have easily chalked it down to somebody mentioning it in passing, but she couldn't deny the fact that she knew this all on her own. Nobody helped her – this was her _remembering_. And that was...petrifying. For the first time, Sarah was reluctant to see the place in reality as her confusion and emotions would take over and she was not used to that happening. At least this version of her wasn't. But Chuck wasn't slowing down.

Why she was so scared of the truth she didn't know; all she knew was that something had clicked inside her. And she remembered how she _felt. _That was even more terrifying. She felt the intense love she had for Chuck, her overjoy as he opened that little red box, and the pride in knowing that she would be with Chuck Bartowski for the rest of her life and all that was wonderful except for the all important fact that she didn't know how to be that Sarah even though she was sure that she had already shown characteristics of her. She felt like in order to be her she had to redefine herself into someone she could only see in memories. Someone that was the same but different all at the same time. Confusion was not even the word. To open her heart to the memories was one thing but to open it completely to another person was entirely different. Could she really be the Sarah he yearned for? Could she really slip back into that life they had and pick up where they left off? Could she really leave behind everything she had ever known for love?

However, there was no more time for deliberation left. They had arrived. Chuck finally faced her, tears shining his eyes. "So this...em...this," he paused, gathering himself, "this is where...where I proposed to you. We were sitting on those chairs right there," he pointed to the two solitary chairs against the wall facing them, "and I...looked at you and was completely overcome with how beautiful you were and how much I loved you. I actually remember thinking of how perfect my life was when I was with you and how I never wanted to face another day without you ever again." He smiled through the tears. "That was why at that precise moment I stood up in front of you, and I opened that red box and got down on one knee on a hospital floor. Because it didn't matter where we were or what I said; all that mattered was that we were together and that we would always be." He stopped to position himself in front of the chair she sat on that day. "I remember the look in your eyes when you saw what I was about to do. There was no fear, not a single hint of fear in them. Just happiness and...wonder. Like you were a kid who had just witnessed a moment of magic. Or a woman who had just had her dreams come true. That was why I didn't have to say anything – we both knew what your answer was. There was no going back from that moment on; we would just be," he finished, his voice a mere whisper.

Sarah watched Chuck as he spoke, remembering all he said. Despite her protests, tears streamed down her face, and her heart ached. Chuck spoke with such tenderness and grace and love, almost as if he was giving a last-ditch effort to persuade a jury, and it was beautiful. Everything about that day was crystal clear – from their mission to Jeffster serenading the maternity ward. And, of course, the proposal. The proposal that saw a girl who lived her whole life on guard now become a woman who was still ready to tackle the world but with a partner who would always be there for her and who she could trust wholeheartedly. Yet, this Sarah wasn't ready for that even though that went against everything she was feeling. She didn't know how to let someone in so far that they knew you inside out. She didn't know how to be the woman that gave herself so effortlessly to someone who loved her. She didn't know how to be Sarah Bartowski. And she knew what she had to do, though it killed her inside to do it.

Chuck turned around from the chair to face her, finally able to keep his emotions in check. "Some story, isn't it?"

Sarah wiped tear residue off her face. "I think I should go," she breathed.

Chuck's eyes widened. That was not what he was expecting to hear. "What? Go? Why?"

"I'm sorry, Chuck, but I don't think we should do this anymore. I think it's time that I went back to the life that I know." Those words came easier to her than she thought.

"But, why? What happened? Did I say something to upset you?" He was in full panic mode now. This was supposed to help her not send her running away.

"No, Chuck, nothing like that." She closed her eyes. "But all this has shown me that I will never be the Sarah that you loved. She's gone, and I just can't be her."

Chuck touched her shoulders. "You are that Sarah; I've seen it. I know it could take some time but it's worth it, isn't it? I know it's not what you're used to but that doesn't mean that it can never be."

"It's not fair to you and I can't force myself to be someone that I may never completely remember. You don't deserve that. You're a good man, Chuck Bartowski and you deserve a wife that can be herself. I don't even know who I am right now." It's true, she didn't. Chuck had been taking her places and telling her all about herself and even though she remembered, it didn't help her now when she felt like someone totally different. It was like two personalities fighting battle inside her and she needed to figure out which side she was to back: the side she had known forever, or the side she hardly knew. She had to, right at that moment, pick a side and she had to chose the one she was comfortable with.

"What are you really saying, Sarah?"

She moved away from his grasp. "I'm saying goodbye, Chuck."

He faced the ground, his heart burning, tears running. "For how long?"

"I don't know. But it could be a long time before we see each other again."

"Sarah, please don't go. I love you," Chuck pleaded in a voice that broke her heart. She could hardly look at him; the pain on his face was too much to bear. But she had to be fair to him.

"I'm sorry," her voice wobbled. "Goodbye, Chuck." And just like that...she was gone.

Chuck stood, alone, in the place where he proposed to Sarah as he watched her walk away from him. It was like he was glued to the spot; none of his limbs could move, still in shock over what had just taken place. His wife and the person he loved more than anything else was gone, and gone for good. His heart ached in every imaginable way; his chest tightened, his breath catching. Tears roamed freely. She was gone. She was gone. She was gone.

Sarah walked as fast as she could trying not to look back, knowing that if she did she would run to him and tell him that she loved him. No, this was what she had to do. It wasn't fair to her and it's wasn't fair to him – this was the only thing that made sense. It was the right decision. But why did it hurt so much? She was sobbing as she walked, choking on air, her hands and legs shaking. No right decision should feel like this. She felt as though every organ in her body was being torn into shreds, but she had to keep walking. She just had to. Chuck deserved someone so much better than who she was right now. She wouldn't have been able to let him in, or able to live in his world. Not as she was now. She was super spy Sarah Walker, not super spy wife Sarah Bartowski. There was a difference. She couldn't be both. It was one or the other. And she needed to stick to what she knew and what she knew well. At least, for now she did. But she did love Chuck; that much she knew with everything inside of her. And _that _wasn't going to change.

Chuck's phone rang as he entered his apartment after eventually finding a way to get mobile. The apartment was different – it felt emptier...if that made sense. Even his world knew she was gone. He let the phone ring one more time before picking it up to answer. "Chuck, hey, it's me. I've been calling all night; where have you been?"

"I'm sorry, Ellie, I've just been...busy."

"Busy? At this time of night?"

"Look, sis, can I call you back tomorrow? I don't feel like talking right now."

"Chuck, what happened?" He forgot Ellie knew about the day he had planned. Technically, it was her idea to do something big for Sarah.

"She's gone."

"Who's gone? Sarah?"

"Yeah. And she's not coming back."

"Chuck, what happened?" Her concern was even discernable over the phone.

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Night sis."

"No, Chuck-" He hung-up the phone. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to go to bed.

Sarah paced in her apartment, wondering where she should go. As far away from Burbank was probably the best. She had her bag packed and was just about to leave when he phone rang. She looked at the name and though she knew she shouldn't answer, she still did.

"Ellie?" she said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all for reviewing, I love hearing what you think about where i'm taking the story! Hope you enjoy this installment!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck...only on dvd. **

CHAPTER SEVEN:

"Sarah, hey," Elie greeted in her usual sweet yet authoritive voice; the voice she used when talking to patients. A voice that meant business.

"Ellie, I can't really talk right now," Sarah was quick to respond, hoping that she could shutdown any potential conversation, especially with Chuck's sister. All she really wanted was to be alone; that was the way it always had been. Sarah against the world, only now that idea was not something she particuarly saw as desirable.

"Sarah, please, just hear me out."

"Ellie, I'm-"

"You're just about to leave, right?" Ellie guessed...correctly.

Sarah sighed as she placed her bag on the ground. "Maybe."

"Look, I know you probably would love nothing more than to hang-up and leave but I just want to talk. I promise I'll be brief."

Sarah sat cross-legged on her bed, resigned to the fact that Ellie wasn't going to let this go. She might as well let her say all that she had to. "Okay, what's up?"

She heard Ellie breathe in quickly. "What happened tonight?" Brief and to the point.

Sarah pushed hair behind her ear, shaking her head – not that Ellie could see her though. "Nothing," she answered meekly.

"Sarah, come on, I spoke to Chuck and he said that you were gone. What does he mean?"

No point trying to hide it. "I'm leaving Burbank and I don't know when I'll be back."

"But why? I thought things were going well?"

That's the problem, Sarah thought to herself. "I just decided that it'd be best for both of us if I went away for a while; you know, give us some space." Even to her the reason sounded weak. She had to work on that; spies should be good excuse makers, that's in the occupation description.

Ellie wasn't convinced. "Trust me, space is not what you need, Sarah. Look, I know we weren't exactly frequent confidantes but I see you like family and I can't just sit idly by and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life." She was getting slightly fired up on the other end of the phone. Just like a sister would, Sarah noted.

"Ellie, i just don't think it's right for me right now."

"Sarah, I didn't call to convince you to do something else or to get through to you...because I know that Chuck already has. And I know that because you're trying to leave. You like distance and I get it, Sarah, I know all about your life growing up and how you have been running your whole life. But Sarah, that stopped when you came to Burbank; you fell in love with Chuck and everything changed, not just for you but for Chuck as well. He became the man that we all knew he could be – you made him reach his full potential and showed him that a guy like him could do amazing things, and he showed you that you could live the life you had always wanted outside of spying. He showed you what it was like to be loved." She paused for a moment and Sarah felt the weight of emotion on her shoulders as a tear escaped. " And I guess in your situation it's scary, but please hear me when I say that no matter what Chuck loves you and he always will so please don't run away because the Sarah I know wouldn't leave the man she loves so much. She would fight 'til the bitter end for what she wanted."

Her speech hit Sarah hard; everything she said was true yet Sarah still found herself floundering in the same problem. "I'm... scared, Ellie. I do love Chuck and I don't know what to do about it." She heard a quiet sigh of relief on the other end of the line. "You know what to do, just think. It'll all become clear. Please don't leave; you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Don't leave but fight...sounded more like the name of a country and western song than a piece of life advice but Sarah guessed it worked in this specific case. Leaving seemed easier though. She could just hop on a plane and be on a tropical island within hours living a new life. But she knew that if she did, she'd never stop thinking about Chuck – that was a given. In the relatively short amount of time she had spent with him she had already fell for him and as she started to regain memories, she found herself sinking deeper.

And as her gaze fixated on the objects around her room, she noted the cold, detached atmosphere it had. There wasn't anything in sight that made the place warm or...homely. Essentially, it painted a spy's life perfectly. And Sarah, finally grappling with her feelings, realised that she didn't want to spend her time in a place that held no special value or safe feeling. She dragged herself off the bed and stood at the window looking out over the cascade of lights. Why was she so afraid to give in to her feelings? What was holding her back? She had a man who would literally do anything for her and here she was in her hotel room looking out over the city by herslef contemplating a departure from this world. Why was she so persistent in going through life alone? Sure she was a spy, but Chuck had shown her a world where she could be happy in or out of spying. And she was remembering a lot of that life...a life that she thought she had lost forever but was now easing its way back into her conscious. No, no more hiding! She loved Chuck, and she wanted to be with him – the rest was just details that could be figured out later; it was time she started to take back her life. And in that moment of sheer clarity, Sarah knew exactly what her next step was to be.

Chuck woke early the next morning as the sun blasted its light into his room. Just another signal of life moving on as he lay in his bed, completely broken from the events of the night before. No matter what pep talks his friends and family would undoubtedly give him once he emerged, Chuck wasn't having it. He didn't care what kind of motivational jargon they'd spew his way he just couldn't hear it right now. What he really needed was for everyone to step back and just let him recover at his own speed and in his own time. Fat chance of that happening, though.

He summoned up enough strength to climb out from under his covers and stumble his way into the kitchen where he was greeted by a chirpy Morgan Grimes donning a pale blue apron. "Oh hey, Chuck," Morgan said whisking something in a bowl. "I knew you wouldn't stay in bed forever."

Chuck rubbed his sleepy eyes hoping that Morgan was just a vivid figment of his imagination. "Morgan, what are you doing here?"

"I'm making pancakes," he replied as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"Okay, let's try this, Morgan why are you making pancakes in my kitchen?"

Morgan put down the whisk and opened the refrigerator. "Well I figured since Ellie's out of town, I'd assume the role of chief pancake-maker," he remarked pulling out milk and closing the refrigerator door. "Now take a seat."

Chuck did as instructed, not because he was happy about this intrusion but because he was weary from, well, everything. "While I appreciate what you're trying to do, I'm really not in the mood to eat and talk about my feelings."

Morgan looked at him from under his eyelashes. "I know all about Sarah, man; Ellie called me last night at some ungodly hour saying all these things about her being gone or something and so I figured that you'd feel better once you had some of my world famous pancakes." He put a stack on a plate and placed in front of Chuck, nudging it closer and closer until Chuck gave in.

Chuck took a bite. "World famous, huh?"

Morgan scratched the back of his neck. "Well that's what it said on front of the packet anyway."

Chuck managed a laugh as he shovelled another pile into his mouth. "I gotta say, buddy, these are pretty good. Thanks." He gave him a warm appreciative smile.

"Ah, it was nothing. You'd do the same for me." He, too, ate a stack, munching and chewing as if his life depended on it. "So, she's really..." he trailed off, his mouth full.

Chuck put down his fork, leaned back and crossed his arms. "Gone. Yeah." His voice was stoic and heavy.

"I'm sorry, Chuck."

"Yeah, me too." He stared up at the sky trying with all his might not to break down. "I don't know what to do, Morgan," he whispered.

Morgan removed the apron and took a seat next to his best friend. "You'll figure it out. You're Chuck Bartowski, man; everything's gonna be alright."

"I don't know, for the first time in a _really _long time, I don't think that it is."

Morgan patted pancake mix off his shirt. "You just have to have faith, man."

And as if on cue, Chuck's phone rang and he was not prepared to see the name of the caller. "Morgan, it's Sarah!" he exclaimed, jumping up off the seat with the phone in his hand as if it was a timebomb. "What...what do I do?"

"What do you mean, answer it!"

"Really?"

"If you don't I will!"

"Okay, okay, okay."

Chuck clicked answer. "Sarah?"Morgan moved around to be at his ear so he could hear what she was saying.

"Hi, Chuck." Her voice was so...melodious. It gave Chuck a thrill just to hear it – probably because he never thought he'd hear it again.

"Hey...what's up?" That was all he could muster.

Her voice was apologetic. "I'm sorry about last night," she started, accentuating each word, "I wasn't really thinking, I guess." Chuck waited for her to speak again. "Anyway, I was hoping that we could talk. Meet me at the next place at noon?"

"The next place?"

"Yeah...on our tour?"

"I never told you where that..." Chuck trailed off automatically understanding - Sarah remembered! "You remember?"

There was a smile in her voice. "I'll see you there, Chuck." And she hung up.

Chuck, in total shock, dropped the phone and grabbed Morgan violently in a bear hug. "She remembers!" he yelled.

"That's great, man, but do you think you could give a guy a little air?"

"Oh, sorry!" He put his friend down and collected his phone from the floor. "I gotta get ready!" And like a flash, his despair was replaced with complete bliss. Sarah, his Sarah, remembered. She _remembered_!

The church was exactly as Sarah had remembered, down to the slightest detail. It's a comforting thing when one walks into a room and instantly feels the connection and the history one has with it and this was no different for Sarah. When she allowed herself to freely think about the memories she had with Chuck and his friends and family, she just knew where to go. This church represented a huge step in her development as, well, a normal person. It was like a form of magic, that something that years previous would have seemed alien to her became something she craved. She craved a normal life with the man she loved. And despite herself, she cursed Quinn – again – for taking this, and every other memory, away from her. She couldn't even remember where this church was, she just knew what it looked like, so she jumped in her car and drove and drove until something ignited inside of her and she ended up outside the building.

She walked up and down each pew that lined the church, running her hand along the mahogany and breathing in the scent of stories past. She watched the sun break through the glass windows, illuminating the altar at which both her and Chuck stood exchanging their vows and making the ultimate commitment of love to one another. She rubbed her hand over her heart as she pictured the scene, tears welling up in her eyes. She recalled the way Chuck looked at her; the way his eyes scanned her with nothing but tenderness and adoration, and the way he spoke with deep emotion as he declared his love. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Even now as she thought of it, she still felt the same sense of security and affection she did that day. She made her way up the altar, standing in the spot just like she did that day, a broad smile on her face. It was a beautiful moment, and one which she vowed never ever to forget again.

**I know some of you thought that Sarah's decision to leave in the last chapter was a bit mean, but I believed that things had to get worse for them to start to get better and I hope it's paying off now. **

**I think I may make the next chapter the last one...not quite sure yet! I'll need some inspiration ;)** **Please review because I love to hear your responses and if any of you have any suggestions as to where you would like this story to go please feel free to tell me! I'd love to hear from you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So, this is the end! I hope you've all enjoyed the ride! Thank you so much for you reviews, I can't tell you how much I appreciate them and please enjoy this final installment.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck.**

CHAPTER EIGHT:

Chuck hesitated as he stood at the door of the church, where, once inside, his life could take yet another dramatic turn. Just hours beforehand he thought he had lost the love of his life and was in a state of utter heartbreak, wondering if he would ever feel normal again, and now he was in a position where all that would become insignificant and pointless. And he had to embrace that wholeheartedly. He was either going in there with his guard up, or he was going in there like an open book. He glanced around him, taking in the lives of people that passed by him, oblivious to the huge moment that was about to take place.

Sarah sounded happy on the phone...right? Chuck swore he heard a smile in her voice. That was a good sign. She wouldn't call and tell him to meet her here if she was just going to break his heart some more. Would she? Nah, no matter what, Sarah Walker was not cruel. He adjusted his clothes and ran his hand through his hair smoothing out any potential stragglers. With the deepest breath inside him he opened the door and entered with a silent prayer that all would be okay.

Much to his delight, the church looked exactly the same as it did at the wedding. There would have been nothing more gut-wrenching than to have had walked in and seen only remnants of the happiest day of his life. His eyes scanned the room.

And then he saw her.

Sarah turned as she heard someone tentatively step inside. There he was. Chuck Bartowski. The man that she loved and the man that loved her back. There was no doubt about it; once she let go of all her insecurities and fears, he had the power to take her breath away.

Chuck was stultified, unable to move due to Sara's beauty, her sheer radiance. He was certain that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And, she always would be, no matter what happened. "Hi," he breathed, raising his hand to give her a slight wave.

"Hi, back," Sarah beamed intertwining her own fingers. "I can't believe it looks the same in here." She gestured to the altar and Chuck's heartbeat quickened.

He gulped, his eyes sparkling with tears. He promised himself he would keep his emotions in check, but he knew that as soon as he made that promise it was already broken. He was emotional human being; that came with a territory. "You...you really remember?"

Sarah gave him a whimsical look. "Chuck, come up here."

He did as instructed, transfixed by the way she was acting, by the way she was remembering. Each step he took along the trail to the altar was a step with purpose and intent. And pure delight. When he reached the top he stood opposite her, the way they did when they exchanged their vows. He waited for her to speak.

"This was the happiest day of my life," she commented, her eyes clouded in thought.

"Mine, too" Chuck agreed, his nostrils flaring as he drank in what she was saying.

Sarah averted her gaze from him. She didn't factor in how emotional this would be. Emotion seemed to be the order of the day. "I'm so sorry for forgetting."

"No, no don't be. It wasn't your fault, Sarah." He placed a finger under he chin to make eye-contact with her.

"I remembered, Chuck. In the hospital."

In the hospital? But then, why did she leave if she remembered? Chuck had assumed that Sarah fled because he had overwhelmed her, and made her feel as though he was pressuring her to be someone she couldn't comprehend. And, he had to admit, that sorta was what he was doing when he looked back on it. "I don't understand," he sputtered in his confused state.

Sarah took her time in replying. She grappled with her thoughts trying to put them into some kind of coherent fashion and she fixed her eyes on Chuck. Instinctively, she reached out and took his hands in hers. Chuck seemed startled by her move but didn't pull away. "I was afraid," she admitted with a dry laugh.

"Afraid?"

She nodded. "Afraid of not being able to open up fully to you. Of not being able to be the Sarah that you love, and of not being good enough or deserving of your love. I guess that sounds pretty stupid."

Chuck eyed her tenderly. "It doesn't sound stupid at all. In fact, it's understandable," he affirmed. "But you have to know, Sarah, that you are always good enough and deserving of love. You deserve to be loved. You do. And I love every single version of you. Every."

"But why?" That was one thing that she could ever truly understand. Out of everybody in the world, Chuck loved _her_.

"Really? You're asking me that? The spy with the biggest, albeit vulnerable, heart I've ever come across? Because you are the most amazing person that I have ever met and once you meet someone that special, you fight to keep them because letting them go isn't an option." His face broke out in a smile.

"I know what you mean." Sarah thought her heart was going to explode with Chuck's words. She found it a difficult task to even breathe properly when she was around him. And yet here he was in front of her, not running away or chastising her for running away, but telling her that he loves her. It was a lot to take in.

"You know, someone once along the way gave me some advice that works in practically every situation."

"Oh yeah? What' s that?"

His eyes were warm, his hands squeezing hers tight. "Don't freak out."

They both laughed together in unison, Sarah remembering that phrase well. It did serve them admirably at times.

"So...eh...what made you come back?" Chuck inquired as he swung their hands.

"Well, technically I never really left but let's just say I got a nudge in the right direction."

"Ellie got to you, didn't she?" he chuckled.

"Maybe," Sarah toyed, "But I just realised that _you _got to me long before last night. Even before my memory started to come back, I was hooked. You just have that effect on me."

"What can I say; I'm an amazing human being."

He looked at their interlocked hands, feeling the warmth exuding from hers. This was really happening. Months had gone by with, what seemed to be, little progress, but here they were. They made it. And, that was when Chuck finally understood that he and Sarah were like the couples in the movies – the ones destined to be together no matter the odds. He thought he knew that all along but as the sun perfectly framed her face, Chuck was hit by the revelation that they were meant for one another.

"I loved your vows," Sarah said, her voice barely audible as a tear slid down her face.

"I meant what I said, too...our kids are seriously gonna rock capes, superhero style."

Sarah giggled. "Now _that_ I believe. But do you know what I just realised?" she continued before he could respond, "Ever since our wedding you have been living your vows – especially these past few months. You've been fighting for me every single day and you have made me feel more special than I could have ever imagined. I knew then, I know now, and I will always know that I can count on you."

Chuck was taken aback by her seriousness and her vulnerability. She had had walls up for the past while, not eager to let him or anybody else in. However, she was doing the opposite now: she was laying it all on the line.

"And so, I vow to live up to mine." Chuck's head shot up. "I promised to show you every day that you were a gift I deserved and I intend to uphold that, Chuck. With all my heart."

"Perfect," Chuck whispered, just like Sarah did when he made his vows at their wedding.

Sarah removed one of her hands from their hold and pulled something out of her pocket. "Here." She handed the delicate object to him. She smiled at him knowing what he would do next.

Chuck held the ring in his hand, amused. "You got it, babe," murmured, sliding the ring onto her finger.

"There's just one more thing we have to do," Sarah remarked, a mischievous smile dancing on her lips. "Kiss me, Chuck."

Chuck was elated. "Come here," he exclaimed lovingly.

And without any more hesitation Chuck pulled his wife close in a passionate embrace, their lips moulding perfectly together. Finally they were back to where they were supposed to be; the barriers and boundaries annihilated and their love passionate, whole and forever. Like the way it was it always going to be.

**Okay so this is where I end this particular journey. Who knows, maybe down the line I'll have a great idea and it'll fit perfectly into this but for right now I think it's time I let it be. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and, indeed, all the other ones! Anyway, please do review this conclusion! I absolutely love hearing your thoughts!**


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